Capital Y - Yogi

Yesterday, Mozambique had elections but I’m going to talk about yoga.

In case you’re interested here are some articles about Moz and the recent elections. I’m hardly an expert on the matter. 

The Economist “Boom and Ballot” – At the very end talks about Mozambique’s debt. Did not know about that! 

ABC News - There was some violence yesterday, which is sad, but none of it was near me (Mom).

Mozambique Political Press Bulletin is a small, independent news organization in Mozambique. It provides the clearest, most up-to-date political reporting that I have ever read, ever. Real Journalism is not a myth.

Ok, but more importantly, I’m in the middle of an amazing yoga-thon. Nothing fancy, I just do sun salutations every morning followed by a shoulder stand for however long I can stand it. 

The more I do yoga the more I ask myself, am I a yogi? I’m not really sure what the qualifications are to be one. Yes, I love yoga. I love that it requires all of my attention. I love that it balances me both externally and internally. I love that I can be angry before a yoga class and after I just want to hug everyone. 

Being in Mozambique has strengthened my attachment and challenged my commitment to yoga. It's the best way for me to escape the daily chaos and really be in the moment. Buuuuut, I have some doubts that I qualify as a capital Y- Yogi. It’s not so much things I don’t do, but what I am doing (Yes, I  rephrased this sentence to avoid “do do”).

Here’s a list of things I do that I’m pretty sure yogi’s DON’T do.

1.   Use a timer. Check it every 5 minutes.

2.   Sit in my yoga clothes and look at inspirational quotes to get motivated for about 20 minutes.

3.   Stand in mountain pose. Inhale. Exhale. Check my phone.

4.   Forget what foot I’m supposed to use for the next lunge.

5.   Loose balance in backward bend. Not backward bend on one foot, just simple backward bend.

6.   Adjust my ponytail to the top of my head when I move to floor poses.

7.   Practice in a such a narrow spot that I have to rotate every time I lower my arms.

8.   Stop in the middle of a series to stretch my calves. Tight calves are sooooo annoying.

9.   Sneak glances at my phone. Still no messages.

10.        Day dream about the french fries I’m going to make after this.

11.        Tell myself I have to hold shoulder stand for the duration of whatever song comes on next. I hope it's a short one! 

12.        Text my friend “Did my yoga for today J!” during shavasana. 

13. Google the spelling of "shavasana" 

 As much as I joke, I know that by arriving at my mat everyday I’m actually doing enough. I am also really happy to be at a place where I know enough about yoga and enough about my body so I don’t need a yoga video to keep me going.  Just me and my practice

Well, that and the buddy system.

This totally makes me more yogi, right? 

This photo was not my idea but a big confidence booster. Check out those heels!  

This photo was my idea and an well-needed ego check.  Not quite there. 

Love love yoga

The obligatory Reflection post.

September 25th marked my one-year anniversary in Mozambique. I struggled through two months of training and for the past ten months I have called Pemba, the provincial capital of Cabo Delgado, my home. I figure now is as good of a time as any to reflect.

Reflect on what? I have no idea. I have had no great epiphanies. The “OMG I live in Africa” moments are frequent and random. The most recent one occurred when I was learning how to needle point with my REDES group.

Every time I sit down to write a blog, I know I will fall short of trying to explain Mozambique. You can read all the books, all the blogs and you will have very little idea of what it is like to live in Mozambique. I can explain carting water, but you can’t feel the bucket pushing onto your scalp. I can describe xima, but you won’t feel the grains between your fingers. I can photograph my young neighbor, but you can’t hear her laugh. You can look at maps, but you will never know what it’s like to stand on the sandy street and feel so disconnected from everyone around you.

I cannot explain Mozambique because I don’t even know Mozambique. There is an enormous wall mudded with languages, cultures, and history that I will never be able to scale. I will never be able to accurately communicate my experiences here because I cannot fully explain them to myself.

Before I fall down the endless pit of deconstruction, let me say one thing. I am happy. I know. Strange, right? But this is what Mozambique (or maybe PC in general) does to you. You can discuss extending for a third year or ET-ing (Early Termination) in the same breath and be completely sincere about both options.

For me, at the moment, I am happy. There are several reasons: friends, work…no bills. I have had more vacation in the last 12 months than I did between 2008-2012. However, I think the most important reason is that I don’t expect to save anyone.

I recently saw a post on FB that resonated with me. At the time I was getting frustrated with my work at the school and my secondary projects. Then this gem fell into my lap,

"If you've come here to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together." Lilla Watson

This was the reminder that I needed. I entered the Peace Corps with a very solid understanding that I was going for myself and no one else. If you are here to change or help others, you will be frustrated 99% of the time. Why?

Because most Mozambicans don't really want our help. And that's totally fair. Not to say what my work, or that of other PCVs, isn't important. But if my sole purpose for being here is to help in a completely altruistic sense of the word, then I am ignoring a lot of what this experience really is.  Being in Mozambique, for me, is about the experience: I'm learning a second (maybe a third) language; I'm cooking food I never new existed; I'm learning about a new culture. Notice those are all benefits for me, not my host country. Mozambique is giving me way more than I will ever be able to give it. As long as I can remember this, I think I'll be ok. 

So, one whole freakin’ year in Mozambique. What is there to reflect on?

Well…

- Training is hell on earth.

- It’s ok to cry.

- Mozambicans peel their oranges with a knife.

- Mozambique is beautiful.

- There’s also a lot of trash.

- Mozambicans will ask you for the shoes on your feet. And they are serious.

- Pemba is hot as balls.

- My family is the most supportive family ever.

- New Years really did happen.

- It is possible to learn a second language, and maybe a third.

- Men are assholes anywhere you go.

- But there are also some incredible men in this world, too.

- Hand-games are universal.

- Friendship is hard work.  

- It’s ok to ask for help. In any language.

- That time I cussed out a chapa driver.

- Want to get to know someone? Cook them food.

- That time a private ride turned into 4 boleias. 

- Friends surprised me for my birthday.

- I actually planned an event that went smoothly.

- I’m a cat person?

- This is my life now. 

love love love 

Things Mozambique Has Not Changed About Me

Whether it's a good thing or not, I think all people who uproot their lives in order to move to a place known for poverty and illiteracy (amongst other amazing, positive things, but not my point right now) must want something to change. And when we (I) dramatically change our (my) surroundings, it's most likely because we are looking to change, or improve, ourselves.

Yet, going into my third week of training, there are a few traits of mine that I can't seem to shake. Which leads me too…

Top 10 Things Mozambique Has Not Changed About Me

10. I still root for the Detroit Tigers - Even at 5 am in the morning.

9. I'm uncomfortable in large groups. Doesn't seem to matter what language they're speaking.8. I loose/steal pens. I came with 3 from the hotel in Maputo and the one (ONE!) the PC gave us. I'm down to one I stole from a friend.

7.I can't seem to wake up early enough to do yoga. Yet I am up early enough to tomar cha (take tea).

6.I don't look where I'm going. Despite the chapas and lack of sidewalk.

5. I still don't iron my clothes the night before. When will I learn?

4. I'm still not the cool sister. My irmao: "Do you have a soccer ball?" Me: "No" Irmao: "Do you have games on your computer?" Me: "No" Me: "Do you want to read children's books with me?"

3. I still don't put my things away or close drawers/suitcases. Even after I found a toad in my room.

2. I still have to return to the house at least twice before finally leaving for school because I forgot my keys, water bottle, textbook, etc.

And, THE NUMBER ONE THING MOZAMBIQUE HAS NOT CHANGED ABOUT ME...

1. I still don't speak Portuguese. Working on that.

Why I joined…

I'm not sure my previous post put my journey to Mozambique in the most positive light, so here is a not-so comprehensive list that I threw together - and keep editing every time I look at it so I'm just going to publish it now - about why I joined the Peace Corps.

1. To become fluent in another language.
2. To challenge myself.
3. To learn community development skills.
4. To put on a grad school application (no more student loans for me)
5. To live in another culture.
6. To understand the idea of culture in a new way. (And then understand myself a bit better)
7. To face my fears…and I don't like roller coasters.
8. To feel a sense of accomplishment.
9. To say that I lived without running water or electricity.
10. To be in a situation where I must trust strangers.
11. To learn how to wash clothes by hand.
12. To teach a class of 60 students.
13. To spend 15 hours sitting on my ass doing nothing.
14. To hug my family when I get back.
15. To eat food I never knew existed.
16. To have a going away party with a small but amazing group of friends.
17. To have no regrets.
18. To have an adventure.
19. Because my gut told me to.