How to Take a Bath.

I bet you thought you knew how to take one. You probably thought you mastered this basic need back in elementary school. However, I'm here to tell you, you have no idea how to take a bath.

First, is to get over this.

Be it a rusty indoor tub, or outdoor basin. That is where you are taking a bath. Be there toad, cockroach, or big-ass spider. This is where you are taking a bath.

Next, is to heat your water. My preferred method is to not be the first person up. Others have learned to start a fire and wait.

Third, you grab the hot panela with a burned, faded rag, while your Mae repeats "Cuidado, cuidado" as you pour the boiling water into your bacia (basin). Also, don't think about the last time the basin was cleaned, or what it was used to clean.

Fourth, set the basin down in the tub and balance your towel and clothes on the shelf. Pray all of your things don't go tumbling into the dirty toilet water.

Fifth. Fill your copo (or the bottom half of a pop bottle) with your bath water and rinse hair and body. Soap, Soap, Soap and more Soap.

Sixth, repeat rising technique.

Seventh, scrub feet on the rock you found in the driveway.

Eight, wrap up in your towel, covering your shoulders with a kapulana if necessary. You're living with a family after all.

Finally, if you don't feel that clean, remember that here in Mozambique, tomar um banho (to take a bath) is done before breatfast and dinner, so you've got another bath in about 10 hours!

That's it! Happy Bathing!